Time for a change

So I made a decision that since I have a "green" blog already (on Juice) that I'm going to change this blog up a little bit to reflect my alter ego- hence it's new name!
Stayed tuned for changes...

What the hell is going on?

So, I started as a blogger for Juice (www.dmjuice.com) last Wed and ever since I started there has been controversy. Not necessarily involving me, but a couple of other bloggers.
On Wed, Corrie announced that would be her last blog and she was removed before the day was over. Then it was either Thurs or Fri that Jeremie's blog disappeared without warning or explanation. I don't know what is going on at Juice, but i'm not sure I like it.
While I didn't always agree with Corrie or Jeremie, their blogs were entertaining and did draw a lot of traffic. I know that, due to personal reasons, Corrie chose to end her blog but Jeremie was just kicked off.
I know that most people who read the blogs on Juice don't agree with what I say in my blogs- which is not really surprising. I don't mind that most of the comments I get there are basically saying "fuck you". I don't take it personally so it's all good.
I just won't want to be a part of a huge "conspiracy" by Juice or the Register. It's not worth it...

Blown off

So...
I have this so-called friend who is in town on business- has been here since um... Thurs. She's been really busy, but we wanted to make sure to get together outside of work before she left.
We planned to have dinner on Sunday- talked about this on Fri AND Sat. She was going to call me to let me know what time would work for her.
So, Sunday comes around and I wait... I go about my work for the day all the while expecting her to call. But at days end, no call. I got blown off.
She doesn't come into town much and I thought dinner would be nice. I guess she thought otherwise and thinks otherwise about our friendship too. Guess it was all one sided.

Is this week over yet?

Okay, is it just me or has it been the LONGEST WEEK EVER?!
I know i've been working OT this week, but damn...

Today seems like it's taking forever to end. I know i'm tired and cranky and that's not helping. I just want to go home!

I'm IN!

Woohoo, I just got the email that i've been accepted to write for the blog i've been after for awhile. I'll post a link here soon!

Just another manic Monday...

It's been a very unproductive day so far... I forgot I had a training this morning (that is 2 hrs of my life i'll never get back). So didn't get much done before hand and having no motivation now to accomplish much. Made a few calls here and there, but nothing significant. I need to find my mojo today!

Started the major clean up of our office this weekend... UGH! We are such packrats. I can't believe the shit we keep. Though I do have to say, we are getting better about parting with stuff. In my quest to find balance and peace in my life, i'm learning to let go of a lot of the material things that i've kept for way too long. It'll be amazing when we finally tackle the basement to see all the crap that is down there!

But anway, I digress. In cleaning the office this weekend, I ran across some of the stories I'd started to write. I also ran across my "cutting" journal from about 3 years ago. I read the entries in there, that was hard- stirred up a lot of emotions for me. Brought back memories of the pain I was going through at the time. I hope to never experience that again. I threw that journal away- no reason to keep it when I have the permanent reminders.

Seeing the stories i'd started made me sad... it made me wonder where my life got off track. When did writing stop being so important to me? Well I do know the answer... it was after the grad school incident. But I didn't think there was anything that would ever be that strong... anything that would ever make me push my passion aside. What the hell is wrong with me?

My creative writing used to be my life... I lived & breathed it and now look at me. I've lost focus of what I want, where I want to go, who I want to be. I let adversity win and it changed who I am, and I don't think that I like it. I AM A WRITER damnit. I've "defined" myself that way since I was 10 years old, since I had my first award winning poem. That can't just be gone, can it?

Focus.

Does anyone read this?

I'm beginning to think no one actually reads this blog anymore. I got quite a few comments on my first post but after that it's been slim. I think i'm going to focus my effots on my Greenthinkers entries and the one i'm still hoping to get into.
So, if you don't see an entry here for awhile, check out Greenthinkers.org and you'll find me there!

TGIF!

I am so so glad it's Friday.
This week has gone by fast but it seems like it's been 10 days long.

I don't have any big plans this weekend other than avoiding the great outdoors because it's supposed to be 98 degrees with a heat index of 105+. Sounds like nice, staying-inside weather to me.

I need to work on the inside of my house anyway, so staying inside is a good plan. We have company coming from California in about 2 weeks and i've got some work to do!

Well, I hope you all have a great weekend!

Peace

I've got the blues...

I don't know why but i've been feeling increasingly blue over the past couple of days. Nothing has happened to make me feel this way- that I know of. I just have this feeling of wanting to be at home- not out in public. Just want to hole up in my house for awhile, escape the world.
Have you ever felt like that?